{looking back: part 3- megan}

My story is complicated, but I hope you stick with me and I hope it will help some people who have suffered with the same issues <3

I have battled PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) from the time I started my menstrual cycle (about 15 years ago.) PCOS was a fairly new diagnosis then, and I was treated with birth control and metformin. The birth control caused me to gain sixty pounds over the next eight months. My mom decided to take me off of it, and I continued to battle heavy and long menstruation and was never able to lose the weight. Many people with PCOS struggle to lose weight due to the increased amounts of insulin produced when eating foods that are higher on the glycemic index. Generally, PCOS is considered a pre-diabetic condition and it is recommended to lose weight (which can be very difficult.)

I've battled my weight since the age of 16. Because some of my weight issues were not related directly to consumption, food became my mortal enemy and I haven't always had the best relationship with it.

The turn around really came in 2010 when my sister, Yvonne, gave birth to her first child. I had a defining moment when I realized I wanted to be healthy enough to play with my niece, and I wanted to have energy. I was tired of being out of breath. After a longterm sedentary (and stressful) office job, I was at my highest weight of 318 pounds. I began to search and experiment with ways I could lose the weight and beat PCOS. It turned out to be eating non-processed foods. 

After changing over to what I called my 90/10, I began to lose weight quickly. This meant for me eating 80% non processed (no bags, boxes, cartons, containers, cans.) Everything in that 90% needed to be whole foods (which I considered fresh fruits & veggies and lean meats such as wild-caught fish and organic chicken.) I realized that I had less difficulty losing weight while eating organic, so that's what I did. The other 10% could be anything I wanted- crackers, cheese, etc; but it could only be TEN percent of my consumption.

I also began light exercise which entailed walking, girly push-ups at home, 3lb free weights at home, and squats. That's it. Between January 2011 and July 2011 (seven months), I dropped from 318 lbs to 251 lbs. I worked really hard to lose weight the {healthy} way and I felt really proud of my accomplishments.

My setback came at the end of 2011 and on into 2012. Over the summer of 2011 I was visiting France when I began to experience severe abdominal pain when I ate. I was hospitalized in France and released with a diagnoses of dehydration. When I returned to the states I had 7 more "attacks" that sent me to the hospital and each time I was released with no diagnosis. In September, 2011 I was admitted to the hospital with a diagnosis of gallstones. They had become so severe that it was effecting my pancreas and I had to stay in the hospital on IV only (no food) for 6 days before they could even perform the surgery to remove my gallbladder.

Between July and September I was having difficult eating anything other than than the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, applesauce, and dry toast) and even then I would sometimes have severe pain. During this time I dropped to 233 lbs, which was my weight when I was admitted to the hospital. When I was discharged I was at my lowest weight of 224 lbs. 

Between September of 2011 and January 2012 I settled back into a normal and healthy routine and my weight settled at about 235 lbs (after recovering from surgery.) I was ok with the 10 lb increase because it was the weight I was at when I had entered the hospital originally.

My second setback came in February of 2012. After surgery and several hospital visits for food allergies (ones that I have newly developed), I grew an increasing fear that eating would cause pain or harm me. My official diagnosis is OCD in relation to food.

My OCD spiralled out of control and I was having severe panic attacks every time I would eat or take a bite of anything. The fear was controlling me. I couldn't eat anything. I started labeling food as safe or not safe (at random) and foods that I felt were "safe foods" tended to be unhealthy. My weight increased to 250 pounds where I pretty much have stayed through the latter half of 2012 and into 2013 so far. I have finally started to get a handle on food again and the healthy eating and lifestyle is working its way back into my life.

My over all thoughts are that since developing food related OCD, eating is going to be more of a struggle for me. I am VERY proud of my accomplishments from 201, and even though I hit some snags in 2012, I know I can make it through the rest of my weight loss journey.

I've been struggling to get down past this 248-250 lb mark that I've been stuck at for awhile, and I joined Weight Watchers this week to try a new approach for now, something that will give me a little more leniency with food until I'm ready to jump back in completely. I'm confident that I will see progress soon. In the meantime, I'm just happy to be sharing my story with you <3

xo,
Meg